Gesundheit
by Katbin
Summary: There's a lot of dust on Tuchanka.


Tuchanka really is something else, another world. The sheer amount of toppled buildings and steel support struts left piercing the sky is staggering. The broken highways, the lack of anything green has thrown me for a loop. I've always known that Tuchanka suffered from nuclear fallout but actually seeing it in person is something else entirely. It's not often that I miss Earth but I would kill for a tree or a shrub – not that inner city New York ever had much of either while I was growing up.

We've been out of the truck for seconds when a gust of uncomfortable, stifling hot air greets us. As it wafts over and then past us I remind myself to strike Tuchanka off of my potential retirement planet list. I have no idea why the Krogan stay here. It _is_ their home, I guess. Just because I don't have strong ties to my own world doesn't mean people like Wrex don't. The thought of Wrex treasuring anything is both confusing and endearing.

I look to my sides to check on my team, a nervous habit. Garrus looks almost bored but I can see through the well-crafted illusion to read the unsettled feeling in his mandibles and the slow sweeping gaze. It must be strange to be a Turian on Tuchanka working a rescue mission. He catches my glance and straightens, smiling quickly, and pulls out his assault rifle. There's that familiar Garrus bravado, ready for anything. How I got a friend like him, I'll never know. I do know that I wouldn't change it for the world. Even for Earth.

Mordin is… nervous, maybe? I still struggle when I try to read his hyper emotions but I refuse to give up. If I can learn to read Turians and Quarians then Salarians should be a walk in the park. I've become surprisingly attached to the Salarian scientist over the past few months and I leapt at the chance to help him find Maelon. Sure, he's a little difficult to get used to, but he's told me more about my implants than Miranda ever will. He doesn't hold information, isn't afraid to run scans and give me straight answers. I understand Miranda's hesitation but there's something comforting in Mordin's straight forward nature.

"Ready?" I ask, looking forward at more of Tuchanka's wasteland.

I hear Mordin pull out his pistol. "Ready."

"I'm right behind you," Garrus answers.

"Let's find us a Salarian."

* * *

Mordin stands hunched over the interface of Maelon's research. I still can't believe all the death we've seen to get here. Curing the genophage seems to have a cost that no one can pay. I'm just glad that we were able to talk Mordin out of killing Maelon in the end. Solider or not I've seen enough today. I'm sure we all have.

Garrus is close to Mordin, speaking to him in hushed tones while he syncs data to his omni. I can't make out what either of them are saying but I can almost hear the rumbling of Garrus' sub harmonics from across the room. I decide to give them time to work on the transfer of Maelon's data and slip away to explore for any lost goodies.

As I walk through the connected rooms of the deteriorating hospital I take stock of my body. It feels remarkably good for all of the concussive rounds it's taken over the past few hours. My shoulders have that normal ache of firing off one too many biotic attacks but I'm so used to the tingling it hardly phases me. The kickback on this Cerberus amp can pack quite the punch if I'm not careful, though, and I can feel the beginnings of a migraine at the center of my forehead. I'll have to see if Miranda or Jack have any modifications to offer when we get back to the ship.

I'm about to head back to my boys when I catch the glint of a wall safe in my peripheral vision. "Bingo," I whisper as I crack my knuckles. "Mama needs another gun mod or credits."

Cracking into safes was one of the first things I learned all those years ago with the Reds. I remember how scrawny I was, barely eight and stealing from anyone I could. Not my proudest years, I've never tried to hide them, but they've made me who I am today. Of course back then if things went south you could always slap some omni gel on it. Now, not so much. Whoever came up with that security upgrade was a fucking genius.

I take a calming breath of the musty, stagnant air and start working. It clears my head, provides a momentary escape from all my problems. It's just me and the circuits, the lock mechanisms. There's no Tuchanka, no Collectors, no Reapers. Just whatever is on inside of this safe. At this exact moment in time I am totally and completely at ease.

A light pinging sound comes from my omni to let me know I've successfully hacked into the safe. The smile on my face is instantaneous and a memory long forgotten of Ash's incredulous tone plays in my head. _Damn Shepard. If there were competitions for this kind of thing you'd take the gold._ Ash.

I swallow through the hurt and open the safe, trying not to think about her ultimate sacrifice. Everyone else has had two years to process their grief but I've only had a few months. Would she have reacted like Kaidan on Horizon if she saw me again? I doubt it. I doubt she would have ever been that abrasive but I'll never know. I'm glad that most of my memories of her are pleasant ones.

A puff of fine dust erupts after the seal breaks between the open air and enclosed safe which makes me sneeze with impressive force. I sniffle, mildly annoyed that I didn't bring my helmet with me on this mission. How the hell did this safe get so full of dust? I shake my head and reach inside to pull out data pad schematics for upgrades to shotguns, happy to read they're for the claymore Grunt is so fond of.

"Shepard!" Garrus practically collides into me as he rounds the corner to enter the room, gun raised.

I grip the schematics and pull them to my chest, eyebrows raised. He's checking the room for intruders, his visor computer spitting out and cycling through code at a furious pace. "Don't shoot," I joke. "Just me and some dust."

He ignores me for a few moments and then eventually relaxes, holstering his rifle back into place.

"What the hell was that about?" I scan the schematics to my personal files then wipe the data pad. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"What? No. I heard you make a noise over the comm channel… I thought you were in trouble."

"A noise? Did you mean my sneeze?" I can't help the humorous tone in my voice.

Garrus shifts his weight and clears his throat, obviously embarrassed at his mistake. "Sneeze?"

I close the safe with the now-empty data pad and swivel to face my best friend. "Garrus… please tell me you've seen or heard a human sneeze before."

His lack of reply is all I need.

"Oh my god, no way! This is the best day ever."

"I didn't spend much time with humans before you, Shepard!" His exasperation only makes me laugh harder. "It's a ridiculous sound!"

"Oh no you don't." I clutch at my sides, feeling my breathing hitch through the giggles. "You don't get to bash the sound I make when I sneeze, Vakarian. You thought it was some human distress signal! Ow, my sides!"

He crosses his arms, trying to make himself look tough. "Laugh it up, Commander. Next time you're really in trouble I might not show up."

"Liar!" I bark, really trying to breathe through the laughter.

Mordin, no doubt having followed my howling, enters the room. "Miss a good joke?" I can barely see through the tears but he seems to be smiling.

"Mordin! Garrus didn't know what a sneeze was. Christ it was hilarious!"

"I'm never helping you again, Shepard."


End file.
